Names and their Meanings

Ever since I was very young, my parents made sure that I knew the meaning of my name. They believed that it was important to give us (their children) names with meaning. My brother and sister both had Biblical names, and I was the odd man out. The question that sometimes whirred around my mind was whether or not my siblings were more holy because their names were straight out of the Word of God. I still have no answer to that question, but something the Lord did reveal to me recently was the importance of my name. April Suzanne means, "Blossoming Pure Lily". I always loved this as a child. Just those three words had a way of making me feel as if the Lord was happy with me.

As an adult I am always wondering why I haven't figured out life yet, why I have to continually grow and learn and be stretched. Why, after being saved all of my life, I still don't fully understand the Lord and His ways. So God gently reminds me, I am still blossoming.

It funny to me that my name is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because when I make mistakes and I don't have it all together, I am reminded that I am still blossoming. A curse because according to my name, I will always be blossoming and may never have it all together!

But praise the Lord, for as a flower blossoms it becomes more and more beautiful. And hopefully as my life blossoms year after year, it will become more beautiful before the Lord. That is my desire. I may never reach "blossomed", but at least there is the promise of more beauty with each new day.

Learning to be Real

I was raised, as I am sure so many were, that to live a good Christian life we are not supposed to have troubles. And if we are experiencing them, we are not supposed to share them because that would not be trusting in God.

Over the last few years this belief has been greatly tested and tried. How is it possible to be real with people when you never talk about the real issues in life? How can anyone relate to you, when you have a seemingly perfect life? I now believe that when we share what we are truly going through, then our relationship with others will grow. Then we can grow. Maybe if we share the things we are going through, others will not feel all alone. Maybe, just by the way we are handling our struggles, others will be encouraged that there is a way to overcome theirs.

Lately, our struggle has been with finances. There is very little. As my husband and I have shared our situation, how in pursuing our passions and trying to fulfill the call the Lord has on our life, we are struggling. The Lord has brought people around us to encourage us, to pray with us, and to bless us. We have grown closer to the Lord. We have realized that we are not alone. And others have been able to share their needs as well. My heart has become softened to others needs and together we are able to lift one another up. I am still growing and learning. I am still trying to find the balance between sharing our needs (it is so hard to do) and sharing the goodness of the Lord (because He is soooo good and we are truly blessed). But each day I am learning. Each day I am growing. And each day I am trying to be more like Jesus. Is my life perfect? No way. But my life is growing and changing each day, as I try to live more like him.

So let's share with one another. Let's be real. Let's walk together and through it we will all feel His goodness and love wrapping itself all around us.

Waiting

A certain song has been going through my mind this evening, and I am confident it is from the Lord. We received some mail today that made me anxious. I have been waiting on the Lord this evening to overcome my anxiety and this is the song He just gave me.

"I waited, for the Lord on High.

I waited, and He heard my cry.

He pulled me out of my despair,

and showed me where to walk.

From fear into security,

from quicksand to the rock.
I waited, for the Lord on High.

I waited, and He heard my cry."

Waiting on the Lord, I feel He is asking me to write. That through my writing He will show me where to walk. And so I am beginning this blog. I feel I am supposed to begin this blog with an openness of heart. I have difficulty sharing what is inside, and over and over again, I feel the Lord has asked me to be open, to be real, to be honest. And so this blog is going to be just that, me, open and honest, me, real.

So today, I am waiting. I know that my security can only come from you, and so I wait.