Worship

Driving down the road I read a sign which stated, "Hurry is a disordered life". Over the next week I couldn't get these words out of my mind and I began asking the Lord what he was trying to speak to me. I was feeling hurried and stressed and I couldn't figure out how to overcome. It almost made me angry to think that my life was disordered, but at the same time I knew it was. I continued praying and asking the Lord to help me overcome, and then he showed me something that helped me remember. I found the verse in Acts 2:46, "They followed a daily discipline of worship." This verse struck me in a mighty way. We had been worshiping as a family two weeks prior to my hurried, overwhelmed time of life, but then I had allowed life to take over and our daily discipline of worship ceased.

There are so many areas in our lives that worship will benefit, but in this moment God was trying to say, "Do you want to stop feeling hurried? Then take time out for Me. Spend time with Me. Worship Me. Make it a daily discipline."

With joy in my heart, knowing God had just answered my prayer, I shared with Seth my revelation. And that morning and every morning since we have begun our day with worship. The hurry has left, I have been more productive, and the joy has returned.

Thank you Jesus, for listening. Thank you for answering so clearly. Thank you for allowing us to come before you in worship and spend time at your feet.

Names and their Meanings

Ever since I was very young, my parents made sure that I knew the meaning of my name. They believed that it was important to give us (their children) names with meaning. My brother and sister both had Biblical names, and I was the odd man out. The question that sometimes whirred around my mind was whether or not my siblings were more holy because their names were straight out of the Word of God. I still have no answer to that question, but something the Lord did reveal to me recently was the importance of my name. April Suzanne means, "Blossoming Pure Lily". I always loved this as a child. Just those three words had a way of making me feel as if the Lord was happy with me.

As an adult I am always wondering why I haven't figured out life yet, why I have to continually grow and learn and be stretched. Why, after being saved all of my life, I still don't fully understand the Lord and His ways. So God gently reminds me, I am still blossoming.

It funny to me that my name is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because when I make mistakes and I don't have it all together, I am reminded that I am still blossoming. A curse because according to my name, I will always be blossoming and may never have it all together!

But praise the Lord, for as a flower blossoms it becomes more and more beautiful. And hopefully as my life blossoms year after year, it will become more beautiful before the Lord. That is my desire. I may never reach "blossomed", but at least there is the promise of more beauty with each new day.

Learning to be Real

I was raised, as I am sure so many were, that to live a good Christian life we are not supposed to have troubles. And if we are experiencing them, we are not supposed to share them because that would not be trusting in God.

Over the last few years this belief has been greatly tested and tried. How is it possible to be real with people when you never talk about the real issues in life? How can anyone relate to you, when you have a seemingly perfect life? I now believe that when we share what we are truly going through, then our relationship with others will grow. Then we can grow. Maybe if we share the things we are going through, others will not feel all alone. Maybe, just by the way we are handling our struggles, others will be encouraged that there is a way to overcome theirs.

Lately, our struggle has been with finances. There is very little. As my husband and I have shared our situation, how in pursuing our passions and trying to fulfill the call the Lord has on our life, we are struggling. The Lord has brought people around us to encourage us, to pray with us, and to bless us. We have grown closer to the Lord. We have realized that we are not alone. And others have been able to share their needs as well. My heart has become softened to others needs and together we are able to lift one another up. I am still growing and learning. I am still trying to find the balance between sharing our needs (it is so hard to do) and sharing the goodness of the Lord (because He is soooo good and we are truly blessed). But each day I am learning. Each day I am growing. And each day I am trying to be more like Jesus. Is my life perfect? No way. But my life is growing and changing each day, as I try to live more like him.

So let's share with one another. Let's be real. Let's walk together and through it we will all feel His goodness and love wrapping itself all around us.

Waiting

A certain song has been going through my mind this evening, and I am confident it is from the Lord. We received some mail today that made me anxious. I have been waiting on the Lord this evening to overcome my anxiety and this is the song He just gave me.

"I waited, for the Lord on High.

I waited, and He heard my cry.

He pulled me out of my despair,

and showed me where to walk.

From fear into security,

from quicksand to the rock.
I waited, for the Lord on High.

I waited, and He heard my cry."

Waiting on the Lord, I feel He is asking me to write. That through my writing He will show me where to walk. And so I am beginning this blog. I feel I am supposed to begin this blog with an openness of heart. I have difficulty sharing what is inside, and over and over again, I feel the Lord has asked me to be open, to be real, to be honest. And so this blog is going to be just that, me, open and honest, me, real.

So today, I am waiting. I know that my security can only come from you, and so I wait.